Getting hit, shot, punched, stabbed, smashed and everything else in between pain and getting punctured is starting to wear on me. My career as a human pincushion is not one I would recommend embarking on. At this point I am convinced that we are being herded forward, and that there is something seriously wrong with my fellow men. People we walked by were far, far too nonchalant. I am also starting to suspect I have taken to many blows to the head, Because I am starting to repeat myself and I really loathe the feeling of deja Vu.
It was around this time we came across a very dramatic scene that played out before us.
“Your score is too low and we are forced to evict you, now take your clothes and get out of here.” Commanded a Stern voice from a couple of blocks over. “Don’t do this, please have some mercy.” Pleaded the tattered looking fellow growling in the dust.
“I have no choice, you know the law and our queen has a smaller place for you to stay at. What little you own will be shipped over, or taken as collateral. Next time you should think twice about how you regard our majesty.” Pleading had no effect on the irate landlord who turned on his heel and slammed the door behind him.
We watched the encounter unfold wordlessly, before Niall interrupted me.
“Is there something on the drinking water Magellan?”
“Aside from you turning people purple?”
“Well, they’re all so accepting of the credit system.”
“It is what we got, and it works.”
“Make it seem less oppressive?”
“How?”
“I do not know.”
It was a thought provoking question indeed, one I could not answer, but I am fairly certain it will haunt me for a very long time.
“It’s not my job to fix the flaws, nor can I, but there is always something that can be done.” Stated Niall with conviction, before sneezing off again like a human projectile. At this point I was impressed by speed and precision and the lack of smell. It is good to know that he is not farting away like a bloated balloon.
Kines eyes lit up and she sniggered silently to herself, before lashing out with her whip snagging Niall before he could jet away.
“This is getting infuriating, there ought to be something I can use to stop this insufferable sneezing that Sara is enhancing.” Grumbled Niall punting a stone across the ground.
“Can you not just access your inventory?”
“What do I even search for to cure sneezing?”
“Gesundheit?”
“Is that written with one, or two nauseating squiggle. Achoo!” He flew upwards with impressive speed, on the way down a plume of dust cushioned his fall. Jennyfer snorted while she interacted with the interface.
“You might have better luck deciding the voynich manuscript.”
“What in the world is that?” I just had to know.
“A very weird and crudely drawn book, written in an unknown language. One that had no cipher and thus impossible to understand.”
“Sounds like a needlessly elaborate joke.”
“Pretty much, the mystery is more intriguing than the answer will ever be. Par for the course when dealing with meatbags.” Just what I needed, more of her condescending attitude. Could it be that being forced to babysit humans and work behind the scenes have made her a bit bitter? These questions need answers and I just have to probe deeper. While I am sure she mentioned why, but with all that keeps happening such things slips my mind. Hope I am not losing what little I have left of my mind.
“Could you stop internalizing everything for once and pay attention to where you are going?” Niall’s shout snapped me out of my stupor just before I was about to greet a green metal fire hydrant with my crotch.
“Woah, an impact with that would have hurt.”
“It would be a splendid lesson through pain, but we have had more than enough of that lately.”
“I would say that I’ve gotten used to it, and that I’m numb to it, however that would be a lie.” What he forgot to do was listen to his own advice. He masterfully smashed his big toe into a loose brick. He swore up a storm of explicatives I have never heard before and a handful I wish I could forget. With a loud sneeze he gained some attitude before hitting the ground, landing on the most likely throbbing toe.
“Mother of a mangonel! That hurts like a beech.” He then plumped down on the floor and pulled off his left shoe and sock. The nail on his big toe was bent upwards and was bleeding a lot.
“Yeesh! did not need to see that!” Why this injury freaked me out I do not know. I have seen a mound of people slithering about after all.
“It’s because you’re familiar with that kind of injury.” Said Jennyfer.
“Are you reading my mind? Should I be looking for implants?”
“You’re an open book. I’ve told you before, you have this very vacant thousand mile stare whenever you get too introspective.”
“Okay?”
“What I do is more akin to cold reading.”
“That actually makes sense.”
Niall began cleaning the wound and slowly wrapped some bandage around the digit. This time around he did not quaff a potion.
“You could always try out random flask from the storage and consume them, you know, might just cure that nasty sneeze. Before you end up cough up a lung.”
“Don’t worry about that, I have several in cold storage. Might just improve his oxygen intake, or not.” Retorted the fairy.
“Is replacing body parts your solution to most things?”
“The body keeps renewing itself, so replacing organs and limbs is perfectly fine, I have a lot of healthy ones in store, like I just mentioned.”
“How many did you leave in the moaning man monster of yours?”
“Enough to keep them alive, however the loathsome fools will never be separate, or alone again, let alone a functional member of society. Not that they were in the first place.”
“I will have nightmares for decades to come, and the logistics behind your machinations is hurting my mental faculties,”
“Excellent worm, excellent.” Is brain bleach a thing, or an amnesia spell? I really needs to get my hands on some source books and a mentor that focuses on combat, instead of pushing theoretical papers in my face.
We kept on walking for a while heading in a random direction, with only one goal in mind. Fine a way towards the center of the world.
“I am getting very fed up about all this walking, going straight into danger, and my feets hurt quite a lot.” I lamented loudly.
“Suck on it buttercup, we’re all in the same boat.”
“You are mostly riding Niall, how can you possibly relate to sore and sour feet?”
“It takes ages for me to get anywhere on my own.”
“Wow, you have an actual weakness?”
“Surprised? Everything in existence for one, or more, as far as I know.
“Hard to argue that.”
At a crossroad the air in front of us rippled. Just as something was about to manifest itself, Niall sneezed loudly and flew straight twords the rift and collided with bat winged creature that emerged.
“That gotta hurt” I muttered but quickly bit down a curse when I recognized the woman that just arrived. “Oh no, it is that pesky Niall stabbing one that got banished.” Replied the fairy. She was right indeed, out of somewhere a dangerously attractive and very sultry looking winged woman came.
“I return from the void and I’m treated like this?” Niall suddenly looked rather suave
“Dreadfully sorry about this, some idiot in a pyjamas threw a potent bag of sneezing powder at me.”
“That is certainly a new one. Say, you look rather familiar.”
“Must be your imagination lady. I am just in those faces.”
“Alright, anyhow duty calls and all of that.”
Her aura flared and with a skillful flick of her wings she cut a slice in reality and stepped through. On the other side I could see crystal, and lots lots of shiny iridescent minerals and the grand castle architecture.. Niall stumbled towards the portal like possessed, but the opening disappeared to where it once came and then he tumbled over a protruding rock and sprouted a pair of wings.
“Oh great, I was hoping to avoid this nonsense again.” Said the fairy crossing her arms and huffing loudly.
“Would you like to enlighten me?”
“That is one of the passengers possessing his body and apparently she does not like demons.”
“Demons?”
“Creatures from an alternate reality which may or may not be tied to the human idea of an afterlife.”kine ran over to Niall to prop him up as we spoke.
“Can we conclude then that she is probably not a wight then, but an entirely different type of creature?”
“Yes, yes we can and she is most likely government employed, probably a manager or a bureaucrat.”
“Far too attractive for that. Did not know my queen had those in the first place.”
“It’s not uncommon for people to be attractive and in case you have not noticed, all public servants we have seen so far have been slim pastel colored teenagers.”
“Right, that does count as attractive.”
The leathery appendages attached to Niall’s back sure looked impressive and incapable of flight. Gliding perhaps, unmanned flight, highly unlikely. Way too much blood though, where does he keep it all?
Once he was back to his feet he wobbled a bit before unleashing an ear piercing sneeze. One potent enough to send him skywards and blowing dust everywhere. I do not know how the grade sand, but some of the grain got into my eyes, causing me to shut my eyes in pain.
“Peachy, just peachy.” Muttered the fairy as i could squint Niall descending rapidly, before getting caught by Kine. “Curses in cursive.” He grumbled trying to scratch a spot on the back with his inflated inflexible arms.
“How much more edge lord can you become Niall, is this keeps up you’ll end up with mascara and writing depressive poetry.
“Crawling in my skin, this wounds are never ending.”
“Kill me!” I had absolutely no idea what her problem was with his enviable wings, that will make sleeping on the back very tricky.
“Could you scratch my back, Kine?”
The fox nodded and made some wicked looking ice nails before proceeding.
“I will not turn your clothes into black denim”. She was practically fuming and dunking her shedded fairy dust all over Niall, who responded with a light sneeze and a quip.
“If you do not give me what I want, I will cut myself.” With a scowl the fairy flicked his nose and light enveloped the man. A moment later he was dressed in a garish pink garment composed of an untold amount of zippers.
“Here you go, happy now?”
“My eyes, they’re bleeding! Make it stop.”
He was overreacting ever so slightly, but not entirely unwarranted. The pink was actually painful to my eyes and I quickly looked away. Even the fox had to turn her head towards the horizon, while Niall sneezed off again just far enough to forcefully displace the fairy, before falling flat onto the floor in a cloud of dust, which made him sneeze once again. Eventually Kine pulled him out of the loop by constricting him with a tendril she extended from her flat palm. The spell went into the ground and came out under him like a coiled up spring bleeding off the energy caused by falling fast. “Can we bring our the board again
“Now that we are all grounded?” I asked, with Niall instantly complying. Seeing a man sized object manifest from somewhere is still a novel experience. However rump pain is preferable to more foot blisters and with more ground covered, we might just stumble into a portal. The freaky fast speed the board we seated ourselves onto is extremely exhilarating, but there is always that niggling voice in the back of my head worrying about my ability to survive a crash. That is the nature of adrenaline, is it not? A substance I have far too much of these days, since we keep stumbling into danger. As usual the board was cramped, uncomfortable, but it emitted a low hum and kept abusing itself to imperfections in the road we were skimming across towards yet another red bricked and confusingly assembled neighborhood of homes.
#Njål #fairy #kitsune #shardworld
Shard World 