The very next morning me and the fairy woke up early. Niall and Kine was sleeping soundly and fairly loudly. Jennyfer took out her tablet and began looking up relevant information about mythological foxes.
“From the looks of things it seems like a magic vixen that take the shape of beautiful women is a very common fairy-tale. They’re very attractive, playful and skilled pranksters, that seduce men.” Lectures the fairy peeking over the top of the tablet to make sure I pay attention. Which is fair enough. “While other stories tells the tale about how the fox is simply an intelligent animal that play mean pranks on dumb animals, usually out of spite. I feel a smidge of sympathy for the story about how the bear allegedly lost its tail.” She pulled up a picture of kimono dressed woman with nine fluffy tails and two set of ears. A pair of human ones and pointy fox ears on top of her head. “Depending on the lore they’re usually very magical and grows stronger over time as the get more tails.”
“She is some sort of sex demon then, that feast upon the essence of virile men?” I asked with a fair bit of concern. “Would that not potentially drain Niall of his life or something?”
“I have no idea, besides life force is a non quantifiable substance as far as I know. Besides with the amount of entities taking residence inside his body, I’m sure he will not run out any time soon.”
“You make a fair point. How many are we at now?”
“The sword, Sara, some winged entity, I think. Honestly I’ve not paid that much attention to it. Those creatures are just not fleshy enough for me to care.”
“What does that mean, if I may inquire?”
“I study living beings made of tissue and organs, not metaphysical entities with non corporeal bodies.”
“Say what now?”
She inhaled loudly before replying. “If it does not have a body that bleeds, I do not give a rat bottom about them.”
“Sounds awfully exclusionary.”
“Have you ever tried to graft a leg onto a ghost?”
“I can not say I have.”
“Exactly, it’s not possible, not for a lack of trying mind you.”
“Sure, I will ignore you now and go back to my music and my book.”
“Excellent.” she cackled manically, I decided to blame it on her usual eccentricity and blissfully turned my back to whatever she had planned.
Many, many songs later I heard a commotion as Niall and Kine stirred from their sleep. As usual the were joined at the hips and quite possibly sticky and stuck. Business as usual, however his arm was no longer in a cast. The fox wasted no time in picking up where they left of, despite Niall protesting.
“Seriously girl, while I love the attention, I have a more pressing issue.” On closer inspection something was of about his new appendage, Kine had massaging her breasts.
“Yes, you have indeed been upgraded. Your old arm was a liability, so I had it replaced.”
“You did what now?”
“Replaced the old with a new one.”
“Without my consent?”
“That is such a human mentality.”
“Where did you even get a new one?”
“A couple of the McDojo people had some parts to spare, so I just dismembered a couple, I also keep a bunch of extra ones in storage I gained from various crime scene cleanups.”
“I like how beefy it is, but it looks lopsided compared to my other one.” He grunted out.
I gave the lot of them a dead eyed stare.
“There is a time and a place for everything, however I think this is an entirely inappropriate place to have it.” I interjected watching Kine shudder and collapse on top him.
“Tell that to the horny vixen, I am not one to reject the wishes of a lovely lady when it feels real good.”
“It is just that hearing you talking through huffing and puffing is very distracting.”
“See something you like?”
“Yes, but that arm is a real turnoff, big muscles just do not do it for me.”
“Lovely, I suppose I have to see if the purple one can gain some bulk to balance out my body a bit more.”
“Clean yourself up at least, or you will end up smelling like old fish and sweat, as we hit the road.” He replied with a nod and called forth the stupidly big tub, from a his tablet. The pocket space system they have truly break the rules of reality as I know it. Kine began to fill it with water. Sara decided to prank Kine by possessing the new arm, poked Kines shoulder and blasting air into the face of the fox as she turned to face Niall. Casing her to startle and tumble into the pool backwards. She splashed around and broke the surface, spitting water and sending daggers at Nialls arm going some rude gestures.
“Oh man, that is hilarious, I suppose it is time to lob a ball of fire into the water then.” I am pretty sure using a potent spell like this for utility purposes is a waste of my abilities, but warm water is wonderful. I simply refuse to live without it. Kine leapt from the pool and wrapped Niall into a firm hug, before suplexing him into the water. He had no chance to react as he broke the surface coughing up some disgusting cored liquids.
“That, that ain’t right.” He muttered showing a finger into his throat triggering his gag reflex. Out spilled a black oily bile with several eyes.
“Congratulation it is an abomination against nature. I will call it Abby.” Snarked Jennyfer as she poured wriggling thing into a glass jar against its will.
“Bleh, I might have gotten infected after French kissing a squid.”
“I think you might need to drink some dye, or rye to prevent the spawning of more crimes against nature.”
“Do we have any in stock?”
“Nope, your outfit is a projection and coloring clothes is not my profession.”
“I guess it is time to go back into the library and see if I can gain some literacy in gibberish.”
“At least you didn’t puke into the water.”
After seeing that grotesque multifaceted abomination I felt incredibly dirty and simply flopped into the pool letting the water submerge my head completely. When I broke the surface the rest of the gang joined, causing water to spill over the edge.
“Now that we’re all cramped, cozy and wet, I suppose it is time to plan our next move. These statues are magnificent and all, but they’re starting to creep me out.” Said Niall pointing at a particularly sour looking one.
“I can certainly see what you mean.” I replied with a shudder.
“I suppose we should just head down the river for now and visit the next town.”
“Sounds like an idea I can get behind, any objections?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
After a long and good soak, only interrupted by Kine squirming around a bit, we emptied the pool and packed up everything into a canister. The idea of such a small storage unit has yet to lose its novelty. I only have nagging question about the canister. How does the indexing even work in the first place? I mean it is a capsule filled with things and there is a button at the top.
“This has been bothering me for quite some time Jennyfer, but how do you actually operate that device. It makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever.”
“I have a digital interface in my visor, one that is thought controlled, and as far as I know it just works.”
“That is a very underwhelming explanation.”
“Yesm but quantum computing, pocket dimension, subspace, or whatever you want to call it is just beyond my comprehension.”
“Gasp! There is a gap in your knowledge, preposterous.”
“Har, har, har. four dimensional thinking just leads to a chronological headache.”
“Do you not mean chronic?”
“I know what I said, I have no time for semantics!”
“I suppose explaining what you mean with digital would take too long.”
“Yes, I can’t fault your world for not having small portable supercomputers.”
Niall looked over at us before interrupting. Now, now, children can’t we all be friends?”
It took a while to get up and get dressed. Complaint about a good soak in a warm bath after untold days of arduous travel. If nothing else I am helping the world at the end of the day and getting stronger. The dance with death sure is thrilling and it is very clear to me that I am a combat mage. No wonder I never improved at the academy, though drinking and fooling around probably did not help. Having righteous fury and smiting my queen’s enemies certainly helps. I just hope my hands stop shaking, missing due to that during or inevitable encounter would suck. Just like the statue I was looking at, which was being grinded under the heel of a leather clad woman. Each to their own I guess.
“Seriously though, what madman made these figures, it is a literal sea of them and that one look eerily similar to the pesky person that keeps pestering us.”
“I think you are right, Magellan. Could you topple him over and break his arm, Kine?” She obliged and made an ice shaped wedge until the statue fell over. With a feral glee she pulverized the limb into tiny pieces. “A bit of schadenfreude never hurts.” She then clapped her hands together to remove the dust, before joining Nialls side again.
The downward journey was temporarily disrupted by a small incline where there stood a house made up of stretching sculptures, in between sat a tranquil being with its legs crossed.
“Don’t mind us just passing through.” Said Niall courtly snapping a picture. The person was draped in fine flowing fabric and was radiating a pink glow. At first glance I thought I was looking upon a meditating human. On closer inspection there was just something very off putting about it.
The statues was not helping at all either. Suddenly the eyes popped open with an eerie glow and the gaze stared into my soul and my grip on reality vanished. I had no idea were I was, the hazy background and the drippy colors made me assume I was caught in an illusion. To what purpose I could not tell. However in front of me a poorly acted and animated stage play began to unfold. A regal dressed cutout of a woman sat on a throne, fiddling with a plastic device in front of a screen. The TV began to show static, the woman wobbled over to the device and gave it a hit. Just then something for a lack of better words otherworldly and ethereal crashed into her from above. Violent energies coalesced around the figure engulfing her in radiant light. Then several goofy looking magical girls and enforcers came rushing into the scene. A squabble broke out among them when the energy exploded outwards. The blast flung everyone across the floor like rag dolls, leaving the woman stuck in violet crystal. Like thunder the revelation struck me. I was watching a dramatized version of the calamity that broke my world and apparently trapped my queen? Why, though? Why would anyone show me these snippets. I was already on the way over and I have seen other versions of this event. After an eternity I was pulled back to reality, where my party was drinking tea with the veiled being. I also took the time to while the drool from my mouth with a napkin I had in my pocket.
“Welcome back to the waking world” Was the phrase Niall greeted me with, while I was getting used to the light again.”You stood still as a drooling statue for a good while, after this one hit you with a spell.” Bad habits die hard and I decided to refresh to the Wight as a sculptor.
“I noticed, thank you very much. Why are you siting around drinking tea?”
“Sounds like a good idea, I can’t call for an ambulance when someone has a seizure.”
“Sure you can, and was it that bad?”
“Close enough for us to get worried, also how does this world deal with medical emergencies?”
“Phone booths.”
“You still have those? Oh right you’ve yet to discover decent cell phones”
“Which is?”
“Portable communication device, this tablet of mine can be used as a phone.”
“Nifty, I do find it weird that something so practical has been made yet. Portable phones are probably a must for space related stuff.”
“I wonder, could it be that the technology is being withheld on purpose? I find the level of technology a bit too primitive for my liking to be brutally honest.”
“Nonsense, why would anyone do that?”
The fairy got up in my face and wiggled a finger. “I’ve told you before, it’s all about information control. You think the burly youma want the people to know how well and truly shit this world has become?” She paused for a bit before rambling on. “You’ve seen how addicted Niall is to taking pictures, imagine the whole population doing that and sharing them with each other.”
That does indeed sound horrific, I thought to myself. “Do not think too hard about it Magellan, and enjoy some tea. We have a world to save and an essence piece to collect.”
“You have never been that specific about what your quest is about before, what changed?”
“New information came to light and confirmed my suspicion. A piece of a powerful being pierced this world and got stuck and I was sent here to collect said piece by any means necessary.”
“Alright, let us go then.”
Before we left the Wight gave Kine an amber colored orb that quite much resembled the one she wore around her neck. She gratefully accepted it and took the sphere into her and and out sprung leafy wines she tied into a knot and encased the ball, before she tied her hair up with it.
Njål Signing Out https://www.patreon.com/zaceron
Shard World 